fly with me.

Yesterday, 30 November 2009, marks the last day of the 2-day Philippine Nursing Licensure Examination. It marks the last day for us examinees to give it all we’ve got. It also marks the beginning of another phase which we consider as more difficult – the waiting game.

Patience is a virtue; no one can seriously doubt that. It holds factual to a sniper in battle or a suitor in love. Waiting is never easy. Ask a first-time mother or the significant other of an operating room patient, who impatiently paces the hospital lounge waiting for the surgeon to come out. You lose much control, or all of it.

I’m pretty sure all of you feel the same anxiousness as I do now. And I believe from a basic point of view, we simply prefer being in control, we fear the unknown, and we want everything in an instant. Fast food, instant coffee, instant gratification, instant everything. The months of waiting for the board exam results is truly a torture.

Now as the day of the release of the results approaches, the mental torture gets even worse. I don’t know if these still works right now but here’s what I’m doing:

1. Work/Get busy. A few days after the board exams, I started working as a research agent in a company. It’s a common knowledge that the newest agent dwells at the bottom of the food chain, so to speak, and anyone up the ladder gives you work. You’ll forget the board exams in due time – until your dean and peers tell you about “rumors”/”facts” that the results will be out on this specific day.

2. Forget the answers. Some of us go to great lengths discussing answers with classmates. It’s a useless exercise, I believe, affirmation is achieved only when the results are out. We aren’t the BON for goodness sake!

3. Remember: it’s out of your hands. The moment we submitted our exam booklets, nothing else could be done to affect the results. Stop worrying because, as stated in that famous editorial, “worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum”. Stop worrying. (As if I did this completely! Haha.) and lastly..

4. Pray. Prayer works for me every time. It is a big help, keep believing and have faith in Him. Whatever the outcome will be, don’t’ lose hope in achieving goals. Pray that He may grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

As they say:

“The value of waiting is a value of a lifetime, if we know how to wait, Life shall be easy because God knows what to give us in the right time”

it’s a learning experience.

Congratulations, good luck and God bless to each one of us who took the 2009 Philippine Nursing board exams!!

Good day Ms. Obuga,

We are very pleased to inform you that out of 467 applicants of Qatar Airways last January 24, 2010 at Marriott Hotel, Cebu City, you are one of the 50 ladies who made it to the final screening and interview with the condition that you have to remove your braces. You are scheduled to have the final interview this March 2010, keep posted through our website.

Congratulations and more power! We hope to fly with you soon!

—I just felt the need to post this on my blog. I’m all smiles right now! Im so thankful and grateful to God for giving me such blessing. I just hope and pray to pass till the final interview on March. His will be done!:)

Today, I am excitedly awaiting a package.

I love receiving boxes – it reminds me of being a child and waiting for your birthday to arrive and seeing cards rolled in the mailbox on the days before.

Sometimes I can hardly believe I’ve been wandering on for one whole year – finding things to speak about, fume about, cry and laugh about. Looking back at the pictures seems like yesterday, the events that have followed are still visible in my mind’s eye…

By then I might have wrinkled eyes, have fulfilled my ambition to travel the world and played a game of Texas Holdem’ without totally consuming chips up…

What a thrilling thought eh??!:)

-Nicole Katherine Obuga

But for this, I am not going to be busy. I am going to stay online until I finish this entry. I probably would make sense now since I am doing this for a special purpose. I don’t know if it’s going to hit you once you read it, but I hope it does and I hope it helps you. So let me start…

Ice Princess. These are words my friends would use to describe me whenever we would talk about love. And we talk about this always. We all love talking about love. Redundant but true. haha. I don’t know if it’s something I should be proud of - of being able to always think of myself first in love dilemmas involving myself and another person. I seem to have that strength that can make me cry for a minute and laugh forever. But that is not the case. They say friends sometimes know you better than you know yourself, but in matters like this I believe that I know myself the best.

So you are asking now How I have managed all this time to look as if I don’t care about heartaches, boys and relationships, to feel great about myself almost always and never feel bitterness? Let me share to you my so-called ‘NICOLE’S SPLINTER PRINCIPLE’:

First on the list….

1) Say NO to Bitterness. Being bitter about someone doesn’t give you any power at all. It doesn’t make you more of a person. You’re not even hurting the other person. You are just hurting yourself. And you end up getting pitied by other people. And everyone knows that I remain friends with the people who others believe I should have been bitter about.

2) You are a woman. Despite showing people that women can be so weak in handling heartaches, choose to show them otherwise. Choose to prove to them that we get hurt but that doesn’t turn our whole world upside down. Believe me, there are more men than women in this world- so don’t worry.

3) Love begets love. Yes it really does. And so, if you think he doesn’t love you anymore, then think about it. Well of course, I am sure that it is not true when a man says he doesn’t love you anymore right after a breakup. He does, but at the same time he wants to think he doesn’t. So try to think you don’t love him too even if you do. I mean that kind of love. And hopefully, love will find its way back as something even better- you get to be a friend to him by loving him the way you love your friends. The love of a friend can be the hardest kind of love anyone can earn.

4) Have your friends. As they say, when you enter a relationship, you have to sacrifice a lot of things for your partner in order to make the relationship grow. But I say sacrifice everything except friends and family. Simply because.. who are you gonna call when things get rough?? *winks

5) Faith always leads back to love. Have faith in God and in yourself, manage to put back the pieces of your heart that was broken. Never question God for He always has better plans for us. If he had a better plan, then why do heartbreaks have to happen? It serves a great purpose. It helps us get ready for His better plan. Heartbreaks should make us stronger and wiser. I repeat “SHOULD” - for if heartaches lead you to the other path, I don’t think there’s really a path because you will remain trapped. When that happens, no one can help you. You alone can help yourself.

I have been hurt. I have been sad. I have cried, and not just a drop of tear. I have said “WHAT IF” a million times. I have experienced running away from the world and choosing to keep my feelings to myself. I have thought of closing my doors to relationships. I have lost my trust. I have been trying to explain what LOVE exactly is.

BUT after all these “I HAVEs” —- I always end up alive and free. I always keep on searching for the true meaning of Love. I always laugh at the end of the day. I always feel that I’m the luckiest person alive. I always feel loved by others. I always value friendship/s. I always thank God for a beautiful day. I always gain back the strength I need. I always value myself. I always tell people I am okay to let men know that women are not as weak as they think we are.

Although it’s impossible to see someone “not getting hurt” after a break-up —- I always hope that they’d feel a little better because of the strength I am showing them. That they’d continue trusting themselves and hoping for a better day.

Again, this entry was made for a special purpose. It all started with a text message I received from a friend: “Events will unfold according to your expectations.’ I’m reading this book and I came upon this sentence and it reminded me of you and how beautifully you see life. You’re one of the very few people that really shows me what being genuinely happy is all about and how being happy and appreciative over the simplest of things could actually give you joy. Thank you for everything. I hope we become what we are today and even more because I sure would love to keep you close to me til the end. napapasenti ako sa librong to. You’re a great person, seriously. And God rewards good people. I truly love you! I miss you!”

Thanks for that!! I love you dearly, and I have trust in you. You will definitely make it through! You’re far better than you think you are! and never stop believing in the power of love. I know you’re hurting. But as I’ve said, it’s not at all impossible to move on. You are loved by so many people, and they want to see you happy and to be finally moving on. I will wait for you to heal —- and will be happy for you when that time comes.